Match Report: The Road lose by a small Margarine as runs spread far and wide against the Butterlords

Full Scorcard:

24th June 2017 – Like a modern day version of the Magna Carta. “The Kings” went against “The Lords” and were left bent kneed.

Matt Small and Chris Brown took up the familiar mantle of opening pair and wickets looked quick to come, Brown claimed a swift LBW and Smally had two catches fly to Patz and Ali T. Yet both were put down and Smally was once again left deserving wickets. That was the only wicket the opening pair could manage between them before new blood was required to take over from tired bodies.

The two newbies of the team entered the fry, Peter Jackson-Eastwood & Ali Tyzack, who quickly decimated batsmen and stumps – one of his wickets would see the leg stump go cartwheeling and almost impale Skipper Dan Sherman behind the stumps! He also dispatched the dangerous Nico Knight with a well-bowled LBW and saw his efforts rewarded for a 3rd time as his speed and bounce had new bat McGill well caught behind by Sherman, energised from his near death experience no doubt.

PJE, bless him, did not fare so well; Nico – before Mr T got him – battered his first and only over for 16. Promptly replaced with the ever-dependable Mo Shaboodien.

In conjunction with Ali T, MO saw pressure build and wickets tumble. First was a very impressive Caught and Bowled, the force behind it akin to Concorde breaking the sound barrier. After years of keeping, he pretty much has no feeling left in his hands and took it without a hint of pain – classic Mo.

His second wicket was a well thought out bit of field placement. Bringing deep mid-on & off in a bit he tempted the batter to smash him back over for 6. However, as always Mo wins at mind games. The batsmen smashed it high but not far, a regulation catch for CB at Mid On. Except for the fact that he decided to run in a bit first, chasing the ball like an excitable dog and then having to scramble backwards before catching it and falling flat on his arse. Idiot.

Following on from a good spell by Tywrap (8-0-43-3), Michael Rossi & Adam Paterson stepped up to the crease. An unheard of 3rd LBW in the innings was to be claimed by Rossi almost immediately. Followed swiftly by a terrible piece of running by the Butterlord batsmen, an even worse throw by Brown to Sherman, which hit his shoe and ricocheted into the stumps. Cricket was the loser with this one.

Rossi would claim another wicket, bowling a recognised tail ender all ends up, finishing with figures of 5-1-20-2. Patz was flayed about by their obstinate number 6 for a fair total and ended up with the days Tantrum award following a rant about something to do with a Goose Hunt… They finished 236 for 9, a tough total to chase.

We are certainly getting better at teas above all other improvements. PJE’s cake was certainly a showstopper, Sherman’s pasties were a delight to behold and Raju’s veggie sarnies were vegan with a side order of fishcake that he really shouldn’t have gone to the trouble to make…

Second innings started with a wide, it followed with PJE pushing a wide ball to gully, 1-1. In comes our relaible ringer – Laxman by name, a very lax man by nature. A solitary four later he was bowled by one that stayed slightly low.

In to the fray strides the ever-dependable Wandsworth wall, Mr Raju Mazumder. After watching the Bangladesh team play admirably in the ICC Champions Trophy he knew just what to do. Steady the ship and build an innings with the bruising Kiwi at the other end. 12 balls later, the ship sprung another leak as a ball that kept a touch low bowled him for 1. Get forward on uncovered pitches chaps!

Never mind as it was time for the captain to show us all how to do it. Sherman, with vim and vigour gushing from his every pore took guard at the crease. Ready to show these pesky Butterlords not to mess with the King. Unfortunately, it appears insubordination is a large part of a dairy aristocrat’s genetic makeup. With 4 to his name Sherman’s stumps were re-arranged and he was sent packing with the score at a troubling 39-4. Enter Jamie Keating – with new pads! He immediately got down on one knee to batter a shot through the onside for four. Mud and power, two things the Bear delights in.

Paterson, after having to watch the King’s Road crumble being prepared, cooked and consumed decided that now was the time to get some runs and smashed a big 6 to the cage. Ali T clearly didn’t like being forced to raise his hands in the air like he just didn’t care and promptly gave him out LBW a few balls later to stop any of that nuisance.
Mo enters – another four runs later Keats exits for a destructive 29. 91-6 off about 18 overs. 237 was looking a long way away.

CB to join Mo again, can they re-enact their partnership against the Plastics? In a word, yes. A stand of 132 ensued. No bowling seemed to trouble them, shots played to all corners and the score ticked along nicely. Drinks came and went; extra drinks were required after they had to run a two.

CB dropped off one bowler three times; Butterlords name is well earnt it would seem… Yet with decent bowling at the tail end of the innings stopping the boundaries, it was a tough ask. Mo bowled for 52 only two balls before the end, CB finished well on 57.

The Road ended on 228 off 40, not bad considering what we were on! Work to do as we move to the LPL against the Fudge next weekend.

Author: Chris Brown

Author: Matt Small

Fast Bowler Extraordinaire & Media Secretary 2017