London Premier League 2017: Dad’s Army do the damage as King’s Road dish out some LICCs

Full Scorecard: http://kingsroadcsc.play-cricket.com/website/results/3175044

“The hardest thing of all is to find a black cat in a dark room, especially if there is no cat.” ― Confucius

On a day of high drama, milestones and tantrums aplenty, King’s Road overcame injuries and near-implosion to secure a 48-run win over London Itinerants CC in the London Premier League.

There was cause for joy for two of the KRCSC stalwarts, as James Couldrey and Jamie Keating reached their 100th and 150th games for the club respectively.

Couldrey in particular was in the mood to celebrate, and did so by turning his knee playing football in the warm up. How bad was the injury? Who knows, but he went down like Arjen Robben and Ashley Young’s mutant lovechild and then proceeded to writhe on the floor like a squealing rattlesnake. No matter, while everyone else looked relatively dis-interested, Captain Dan Sherman won the toss and decided to have a bat.

Lewis Robinson and Peter Jackson-Eastwood – the hottest little and large pairing since Little and Large – strode out to bat, and played out a watchful opening ten overs against accurate LICCS bowling. Their opening partnership was punctuated by sharp running between the wickets, and Robbo then looked to up the rate with two well-timed boundaries whipped through the on-side as the bowlers began to tire.

The only thing more faltering than PJE’s *ehem* performance in recent months has been his batting, but he was to finally reward Sherman’s faith with a more assured display. His confidence visibly grew after a straight drive that would have had Ian Bell salivating brought him his first boundary. But just as the partnership was accelerating Robbo fell for 21 to a ball that held up in the pitch, cut in off a length and clipped his off stump. 49-1, and Sham de Silva was the new batsman in.

PJE smeared consecutive fours through mid-on in the next over but got over-excited at actually timing the ball for a change and ran himself out after smoking one straight to cover and screaming ‘Yes’. 68-2, and James ‘the peg’ Couldrey limped to the crease, cursing Jack Sparrow under his breath. Sadly after six balls his leg buckled and he was forced to retire hurt.

Captain Sherman was next, but disaster was looming. Sham nurdled the ball fine for a regulation single, but amid calls of ‘Yes’, ‘No’ and ‘Garcon!’ Sham decided he wasn’t for moving. Sherm got all the way to Sham’s end, and nearly all the way back to his own before the bails were removed – King’s Road were reeling at 91-3.

After Sherman’s Sham-bolic dismissal, one would’ve thought the number 3 had learned his lesson. But no, vice-captain Jamie Keating was the new man, and Sham wanted a full set of senior run-outs. Keats started well, timing the ball nicely. But when running to the danger end for a fantastically easy second, he found Sham stood there, idly staring at him. They had enough time to have a quick chat, Sham sat down in his deck chair with a cigar, and after Keats still nearly got back to his end he was run out for 5.

Sham would eventually top score with 40 from 47, a mere 300 runs short of redeeming himself. Raju Mazumder was the new man and he set about leading a late assault, scoring 17 precious runs that included one delicious back foot whip to the boundary as the wickets of Mo Shaboodien and Ali Tyzack fell around him. Michael Rossi was last out as King’s Road posted what looked a below-par 156 all out from 34.5 overs.

Tea was, frankly, sub-standard and perhaps it was this that infuriated and inspired King’s Road to the fielding heroics that would win them the game.

Ali Tyzack and Brian Stuart took the new ball, with Mo standing up to both behind the stumps to keep the batsmen honest.

Ali is always whining about being a new ball bowler, and this was his chance to prove himself worthy of Chris Brown’s large and, I assume, reinforced boots. He duly obliged with an aggressive, quick opening salvo, culminating in the wicket of Joshi, caught at mid wicket by Sham.

At the other end, Brian, after being struck for two boundaries in his first over produced a metronomic spell, picking up the number 3 batsman LBW and ending up with figures of 7-1-14-1.

The Road were building scoreboard pressure, but needed wickets to win the game. Where else to turn than the King of Samba himself, Diana Rossi? He whirled, he twirled and the bloke from Stoke bowled both Bradshaw and Breen off their pads as they struggled to pick the rotund ripper’s length. Then followed the most remarkable moment of all, as the new batsman swept hard, got a top edge, and James Couldrey, the one-legged bandit, leapt millimetres into the air to take a one-handed catch.

Mo was bored of keeping now, and ready to go home. On to bowl he came, and he entered the fray with an immediate wicket, which brought danger man Ravi Ogale to the crease. After a six and a four, things were looking perilous, but Mo replied by clean bowling Ravi. There hadn’t been any controversy for about five minutes, but there was now. Mo shouted ‘Off you go son!’ which he assured us was not a send off. Ravi replied with some choice words that bordered on a death-threat, Mo said some nice things back, but regardless, the batsman was on his merry way.

Mo money Mo problems. Undeterred, Shaboodien responded with another wicket, hitting the base of middle and snapping the stump before polishing off the tail to finish with 4 wickets in just 3 overs. LICCS were all out for 108, and the Road had completed a sensational win.

The golden oldies Brian (so economical) and Rossi (4 wickets), and the younger and significantly more shy Mo Shaboodien (4 wickets) were the heroes.

Quote of the day goes to Mo:
‘When I give you a send off, you go. And did he go? Exactly.’
(So it definitely WASN’T a send off, was it Mo?)

Author: Peter Jackson-Eastwood

 

Author: Matt Small

Fast Bowler Extraordinaire & Media Secretary 2017