‘I’m purr-fect’: Pickle the cat takes on Mark in bid to lead The Road in 2014 (and yes, this is fur real)

Rivals ... Pickles the cat and Isham

THE claws are out in this year’s captaincy election!

Dan Sherman’s cat has emerged as Mark Isham’s only rival to lead The Road in 2014.

Nine-month-old former Battersea Dogs and Cats Home resident Pickle says she’s purr-fect for the job while branding his opponent Mark a ‘massive pu**y’.

Pickle – aka Pickypoo – insists her bid to lead The Road is not a joke and she is 100 per cent ‘fur real’.

She said: “Hi, my name is Pickle, and I will be one  the week before the season starts. What I lack in experience, I make up for it in enthusiasm.

“Having spent my early days living in Battersea. I would be honoured to captain KRCSC.

“I’m athletic in the field (would be better than Sherman behind the stumps), I see myself as a number 11 wicket keeper, that can bowl a bit.

“I love to play with the white (ping pong) ball but feel I can make a real impression with a red cherry.

“Very sociable, fairly vocal and cunning, I’ve moulded myself into the feline Mike Brearley, and I would love to lead KRCSC and get her claws into the opposition this coming season.

“Vote for Pickle! (Not Mark ‘Beanpole’ Isham who looks like an oversized Pob).”

So has the cat bit Mark’s tongue? No.

He hit back saying: “The main advantage I have over the other captaincy candidate is opposable thumbs, which makes me a marginally better fielder than her.”

Meow!

The winner will replace last year’s skip Matt Cocken who confirmed this week he will not run for re-election.

Giving his pitch to win the vote, Mark said: “The Road had an excellent 2013 under Matt’s leadership.  He did a great job, and created an environment that allowed people to develop their game.

“There will always be a place for mediocrity in the Road (in fact, that is a level that most of us are yet to achieve), but I sense a desire to improve within individuals that has not existed before.  I want to build on that, and still keep the club social.

“As England sack each of their players, it is likely some Roaders will be called up for international duty – by having a pool of talent to draw on we can mitigate that risk.”

Author: Leon Watson

Terrifyingly fast with the ball in hand and famously flamboyant with the bat, Leon is without doubt The Road’s greatest ever player. His stellar career has yielded more than 1,000 runs and several million wickets. However, but for a series of shocking LBW decisions against him and the butter-fingered ineptness of his colleagues in the field, there would surely have been more

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