Early bird catches the ball: Committee decides players must turn up at noon for fielding practise or be PUNISHED

Players who turn up late to matches will be made to run round the pitch before they can enjoy their tea under a strict new regime brought in by club bosses.

The decision was made by the King’s Road committee which met last night at The Wheatsheaf pub in Tooting to iron out the final preparations before the season kicks off next week.

It was agreed action is needed to tackle the cronic lateness on match days which has led to a significant decrease in the amount of post-match drinking time available to players.

Players will now be required to meet at 12pm on match days for a team briefing and fielding practise before the game kicks off at 12.30pm.

Anyone who is late and does not inform the captain in advance will be punished, the committee ruled.

Serial offenders, such as Amir Alipour, will have to complete three laps of the pitch before they can tuck into their tea if they miss the team meeting.

A committee spokesman said: ‘It is the view of the committee that players turning up late is not only embarrassing for the club as it can irritate opposition teams but, crucially, when matches start late they finish late and this means our drinking time is cut.

‘This is not acceptable and we must taken any measures necessary to ensure pub-time is maximised.’

The committee is made up of captain Matt Cocken, Dan Sherman, Leon Watson, Chris MacNicol and chairman Mark Isham.

 

  1. Matt Small Avatar
    Matt Small

    Some would consider a lap of a pitch not as a punishment, but as necessary warm up. I think we should all do a lap anyway, then STRETCH.